


F-L-I-R-T

by The_Silent_Writer



Category: Fargo (2014)
Genre: ASL, Flirting, I apologize in advance!, M/M, Not great signing, Texting, drinking at da bar, in a time where smart phones are a thing, lame pick up lines, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Silent_Writer/pseuds/The_Silent_Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heath is alone at the bar of some restaurant when some guy comes up and tries to feed him the cheesiest pick line he's ever heard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F-L-I-R-T

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyDorian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDorian/gifts).



The first time Heath sees him, the guy is sitting with a group of men. Heath is sitting at the bar of some Southern-style restaurant drowning his sorrows. It had been a rather shit-tacular week and now that the weekend is greeting him with open arms he fully intends to give it a bear hug. And to get the party started, he decides he’s going to drink until his thoughts are Jell-O and maybe find some fairly nice tail and take it back to his home-sweet-motel room. The guy he’s secretly been eyeing from the bar is a pleasant surprise to his evening.

Heath isn’t quite sure if it is pure attraction or the alcohol that is making his pants feel a few sizes too small. It only gets worse when his could-be catch walks right up to him at the bar.

He blames the bourbon for the red on his cheeks.

The Guy leans on the polished wood of the bar like he owns it. The smile he’s giving Heath is anything but innocent. “Excuse me, but would you mind if I tied your shoes?” The ‘wait, did I hear that right?’ look Heath gives urges him to continue. “Because I don’t want you falling for anyone else.”

Heath’s got the glass of bourbon up to his lips when The Guy finishes and he nearly chokes on his drink. He’s laughing much harder than he expected he would. He can’t remember ever learning or receiving such a lame pick up line before. Heath gives The Guy extra points for having the balls to leave the group of men he’s with just to recite something so perfectly idiotic.

He chuckles a little longer as he writes a note on the napkin that had been his drink coaster. He hands it to The Guy before taking his leave.

 _Nice try_.

Heath isn’t drunk like he had expected he would be this evening, but he’s pretty okay with that.

 

He’s back a week later, sitting in the same spot at the bar he had occupied last time, busying himself with his phone while he waits (not so patiently) in hopes of seeing The Guy again.

 _Do you see him? Has he shown up?_ – LN

**No, not yet. I can’t believe I’m actually tryin’ to see him again.**

_You’re not-so-secretly a romantic, I hope you know._ – LN

 _Want me to come meet up with you? I kind of wanna see this “tacky pick up artist” you’ve been telling me about._ – LN

**LESTER, NO! I REFUSE TO HAVE YOU BE THE OPPOSITE OF MY WINGMAN!**

**If I can’t meet this “Lorne” guy you keeping harpin’ on about, you can’t meet my cheesy-ass suitor!**

_…Touché._ – LN

Heath lets out a soft breath, his version of content laughter. He’s typing out a reply when a figure clad in nearly all black comes into view. He turns and is almost shocked to see The Guy standing right next to him.

The Guy looks nice in a black, fur coat. Heath admits to himself that he’s openly dragging his gaze over The Guy’s body. No harm, no foul, as they say.

“Good to see you again, Big Boy,” The Guy says with a wiggle of his eyebrows, before following what appear to be coworkers to the same table they set up shop in the week prior.

Heath watches him go, not one to let such a back go unappreciated, and ultimately decides that he shouldn’t get his hopes up.

His phone vibrating gets his attention.

 _Did he show up?_ – LN

Heath sighs before typing out a reply.

**Yeah. He’s with the same group of guys.**

**I think I’m gonna head home.**

The reply he gets comes almost as soon as his message is sent.

 _Oh, no you don’t! I know what you’re thinking. Come on over and we’ll talk, yah?_ – LN

Another sigh escapes him. He’s almost glad he can’t hear. God knows he’d want to punch himself if he could hear himself sigh all the time.

**Sure, Lester. I’ll be right there.**

After leaving a twenty on the countertop, Heath skulks out of the restaurant without a second glance back.

 

He doesn’t go back to the restaurant for a few weeks.

 

When he does go back, it’s not on his usual Friday evening. He’s there with Lester on a Wednesday in the early evening. He can see the sun just starting to set from outside one of the windows.

 _It’s nice_ , he thinks. He’s enjoying himself so far. Lester and he are there celebrating Lester’s new promotion at Bo’s. It seems this Lorne fellah is rubbing off on Lester and Heath is happy for him.

They’re sitting at the bar, sharing stories and chowing down on grilled cheeses when the bar tender comes up and places a beer in front of Heath.

He’s thoroughly confused.

 _Tell ‘im I never ordered this_ , he signs to Lester.

“Ah, sorry, my friend never ordered—”

“Oh, yeah, I know he didn’t. It’s been paid for already.” The bar tender says with a smile.

“What’s that now?”

“A guy, black hair, beard, fur coat. Came up to dah bar dah other week, said, ‘Next time that guy in dah tacky fringed coat comes by, give him a beer on me’. Told me tah give yah this, too.”

Heath can’t hide the deep red that’s flushing his cheeks and burning the tips of his ears. His mouth is slack, there’s crumbs from his grilled cheese on his face. He’s the epitome of flustered.

Now there’s a small, white envelope in front of him. It’s leaning on the draft of beer, the moisture from the glass staining it slowly, and all Heath can do is stare at it. It takes a few elbow nudges from Lester to get his brain back on track.

 _You okay there?_ Lester signs. There’s a look of worry in his eyes that makes Heath feel both bad for having been the reason Lester looks that way and happy that there’s someone in this little town of Bemidji who cares about him enough to put on such a look.

 _I’m fine… Just surprised, I guess_. Heath really isn’t sure what to think. Was this him being wooed? Or was this just some highly irregular happenstance?

“Well?” Lester starts,  _Are you going to open it?_

There isn’t a reason for him not to. The envelope is addressed to him, why shouldn’t he open it? Maybe because he has no idea what is inside it, or because of this feeling that said he was getting his hopes up for no reason.

He sighs.

“Oh, don’t be a Debby Downer, Heath!” Lester’s sighing now. He takes a few napkins and tosses them into Heath’s hands which are just hovering above his plate. Lester knows this feeling of gut-wrenching uncertainty. It was how he felt when he had first met Lorne. “Now you go on and open that letter and read what Mr. Fur Coat has to say.”

Heath nods, looking away from Lester back to the envelope. He picks it up, and just as he’s about to open the darn thing he decides that a little liquid courage wouldn’t hurt to have. Half the beer is drained without so much as a breath in between.

Lester waits patiently.

When Heath finally gathers the nerve to open the thing, what’s inside makes him choke on a laugh, so abrupt and pure that he can’t even believe he was getting so worked up.

_That tacky jacket of yours looks good on you, but it’d look better on my bedroom floor._

_That tacky jacket of yours looks good on you, but you’d look better with me wrapped around you. ;)_

_I couldn’t pick just one._

_– that guy from the restaurant you may or may not still frequent_

It was so stupid, but it has Heath holding his sides together. Lester’s looking at him like he wants to join in on the laughter just because Heath is having such a good time.

 _That good, then?_ Lester asks after getting Heath’s attention.

 _Better_ , he replies and lets Lester read the note.

Now Lester’s cracking up along with him.  _He’s seems like a card, Heath, you should reply to him._

Heath is already one step ahead, writing out a reply on a clean napkin and folding it into the envelope. He gets Lester to help him ask if it’s okay to pay for a drink for The Guy and to leave his note with it. The bar tender agrees and Heath has their meal and drinks paid for and is rushing them both out of the establishment before he gets cold feet.

 _I wouldn’t say no to you being wrapped around me_ , the note said.

Heath makes a pact with himself to come back on Friday.

 

He doesn’t come back on Friday. It’s another three weeks before he even has the time to think about going back to the restaurant again. His job had him working overtime, and while he can’t say he doesn’t mind the extra pay, he surely does mind that it’s eaten up his (admittedly dismal) social life.

He does manage to make it back to the restaurant on a Saturday. It’s not what he assumes the normal day for the guy to show is, but it’s close enough.

Heath’s sitting at the bar, sipping an orange soda and not doing much else. Every so often he’ll pull out his phone to reply to Lester’s text messages or play some murder mystery game he had on his phone until he ran out of lives. But really, he’s secretly hoping that he’ll get a visit from The Guy.

Time passes surprising quickly for Heath. He pulls out his phone once again to see that it’s nearly 11:00 p.m. If his memory serves him, he arrived around 7:30. Yeah, it was definitely time to pack up and head home for the night.

He’s making to leave when he feels a tap on his right shoulder. Turning far too abruptly nearly sends his elbow into The Guy’s nose.

Wait.

The Guy is here… In front of Heath, holding up his hands in apology. Though his eyebrows are raised up in shock, the grin plastered on his face is undeniable. Heath can’t help but think that if he looked in a mirror, he’s looking the same way.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle yah, Big Fellah.” The Guys says, putting his hands in the pockets of his coat. He’s looking at Heath like he’s waiting for something.

When Heath realizes it’s for a reply, his body turns rigid and he breaks the eye contact he had been relishing in. How could he be so stupid as to forget that even if the two of them did strike up a real conversation, Heath couldn’t even talk to The Guy?

 _Dammit, Heath. You’re an idiot_ , he thinks. He’s lost in his own world now, wishing he could bang his head on the bar top.

His attention is brought back to the here and now when the gentle hands of The Guy are on his cheeks to turn his head back towards him. Heath just misses The Guy saying something to him. He raises an eyebrow, surprised at how the events are turning.

 _Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you deaf?_ The Guy signs (rather awkwardly) to him.

Heath’s eyebrow raises even higher into his hairline. He couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed. The only reply he can manage is a curt head nod.

The Guy nods with him, his head bobbing up and down before he lets out, what Heath assumes is, a frustrated groan.  _I had this… whole monologue planned out for you. I was gonna compliment you on your hair and eyes and crooked smile and that tacky-ass jacket!_ He lets out another groan that was lost on Heath.  _I even ate you a--_ “Fuck!”  _I **bought** you a stupid flower to give to you and everything but I combed it--_ “God dammit!” _I FORGOT IT!_

Heath stops him from digging the hole he’s already got one leg in.  _You know ASL? How did you know I was deaf?_

_I tried to talk to you from behind to get your attention and--_

_Just now? And you just happened to know ASL?_

_No, like a month ago_. “Where have you been, anyway?”  _And no, I wanted to be able to talk to you, so I’ve been learning how to sign._

If that didn’t make Heath want to melt in his fringed jacket and sign, ‘TAKE ME NOW’, nothing could. Lester had been the only one to learn sign language for him, and they were childhood friends so that gave him a little more leeway. The Guy, on the other hand, knew next to nothing about him and just decided that he would learn an entire language just to speak to Heath. That alone makes Heath want to smooch The Guy.

 _Work’s had me by the balls_ , he replies, deciding to keep his hands and mouth to himself for now.

The Guy huffs out a small breath, his version of a commiserating laugh. _I can understand that. Why don’t you share a drink and marry me?_

Before The Guy notices with mistake, Heath bubbles over with laughter.

_Why not, as long as you tell me your name first!_

**Author's Note:**

> This was for LadyDorian, who got the answer in the last chapter of Why Not? first! Yaaaay! (I'm so sorry it took so long!!)  
> I'm thinking there's going to be a little something else for this. I feel like it needs it!
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Stay beautiful!


End file.
